Be a little more grandpa than grandma
When I was a kid, my brother and I spent summer weeks with our grandparents. Every time Grandpa came home, we were waiting at the door like tiny linebackers.
Grandma would pull us back. “Let him get settled.”
Grandpa would shower, change and sit down in his chair. Only then would he say, “All right, boys, what do you want to tell me?” We had his full attention. When he was done, he sent us off to play, and we went. No arguing.
He wasn’t harsh. He was clearly in charge of when interactions started and when they ended. That’s why we trusted him.
That is the idea behind one of the first lessons in my book, Four on the Floor. Your dog needs you to be a little more grandpa than grandma.
Dogs are not alpha wolves trying to take over the house. They do best with a benevolent provider, a calm and fair family member who decides what happens and when.
Most dogs end up in charge by accident. If you answer every paw, nudge and tennis ball the second it arrives, your dog decides when attention, play, food and doors happen. You can still play, cuddle and say yes. You just choose the moment.
Try this at mealtime
Set the bowl down.
Wait for your dog to settle.
Ask for a sit or a calm wait.
Put the bowl down when they are calm.
No drama, no lecture. Calm gets the bowl.
Doors and walks work the same way. Ask for a sit before the leash goes on. Wait for calm before the door opens. Your dog learns that the good things come when the house is calm.
Dogs don’t read this as less love. They read it as security. Leadership tells a dog that you have the job of keeping things steady, so they can relax.
Chapter 2 of my book goes deeper on this, with more examples from my own work. Four on the Floor is available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0dF8HDfT
If you want help with your dog’s daily routine, book a free 30-minute phone call: https://www.auntlucysdogtraining.com/phone-call
Randy Walker, CPDT-KA, is an Air Force veteran and professional dog trainer with about a decade of experience, years of classroom teaching and many rescue dogs worked with. He comes to you at home or at a local park across the Denver metro area.
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